teh intertoobz lockah room

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Originally Posted by Hank Vangut

Man charged in dildo assault
A 37-year-old man remained in police custody Tuesday, charged with a violent assault against his former girlfriend. He has testified that his only weapon was a dildo.
The 28-year-old victim remained in the hospital after suffering a concussion, two broken fingers and several cuts. According to local newspaper Firda, she told police she feared for her life during the assault.

The defendant appeared in the Fjordane court in the scenic western town of Nordfjordeid on Monday. He told said he was sorry for his actions, and attempted to downplay the assault.

"It lasted 10 to 15 minutes, max," he told the court. "I didn't hit her with anything other than a dildo."

He also suggested the woman may have had bruises from before the assault. "She doesn't tolerate much because of anorexia," he said, adding that he was sorry "for what happened" and demanding he be released.

He was instead ordered held for another four weeks.

But your honor...she likes it rough!!!

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Originally Posted by Nabisco

Nothing like showing up to the hospital with a giant mushroom shaped bruise on your forehead...

"Well, doctor, you see...there was this thing...and this guy hit me with his...oh nevermind."

A Tampon taser would have came in handy...

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