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Right Hook · 11-03-2009, 08:14 AM

'Touch it' is BP's pick up line.

Right Hook · 11-03-2009, 08:15 AM

Honey tastes good. It's also paleo approved. Because bees use to sting cavemen

Dr. Packenwood · 11-03-2009, 10:36 AM

I got some fag engineer that had me build some items for him and now that they don't work he isn't paying me the remaining money he owes me. Sad part is, is I engineered them first but he didn't like my design. Now I realize he told me everything verbally instead of issuing me a certified drawing. I have 7 other customers that are engineers and not one of them thinks he's an engineer because of that fact.

I think i'm going to send him a box of Legos for Christmas with a nice note telling him to master those first before he engineers anything else.

Fucking construction firms suck balls.
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**Supa-T** · 11-03-2009, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Right Hook

For those that follow college football, Nebraska's best player (Suh) hit two parked cars Saturday. Pry gonna get a couple game suspension. fml

I heard it was three and that they were students from Baylor that had boxed him in.

You can't stop him, you can only hope to contain him

Dr. Packenwood · 11-03-2009, 10:55 AM

Is there a proper way to tell my girlfriend to stay in the kitchen? Preferably one that involves my penis.
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**Trank406** · 11-03-2009, 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bitterplacebo

1) Were there stipulations against masturdates?
Shit's easy otherwise.

2) How is she going to know if you break and have sex?
Just don't admit it.

3) The reward is a week with a 1954 Chevy pick up?
Weak.

Well she's also gonna let me drive her 1973 Chevy Nova.. and let me work on it as well. Hows that weak? It's a fucking Nova! They're sexy cars!

**Trank406** · 11-03-2009, 01:03 PM

And I can't lie.. but I will ask her about the masterdates.. cuz that doesn't count! 2 months of no sex really does seem like a long time. It's been a week and I'm already going nuts lol but think about it.. now I get to save my load and after the 2 months this bitches face is gonna get covered.. and I'm gonna enjoy every second of it! She said I get to win a date with her.. like she's a fucking prize or something.. the prize is really the carS she owns! And I get to pick the date.. so of course I'm gonna go with Ruth Chris.. might as well go with something expensive if the bitch is paying! Girls use us.. why not have a turn around!?

**Supa-T** · 11-03-2009, 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Packenwood

Is there a proper way to tell my girlfriend to stay in the kitchen? Preferably one that involves my penis.
Posted via Mobile Device

Just strip down and box her in. Lots of grunting and primal yells might speed the process.

Or you can eat a lot of refried beans and chug massive amounts of whey concentrate and crop dust the rest of the house. put a fan in the kitchen with an aerosol of glade for motivation.

Dr. Packenwood · 11-03-2009, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Supa-T

Just strip down and box her in. Lots of grunting and primal yells might speed the process.

Or you can eat a lot of refried beans and chug massive amounts of whey concentrate and crop dust the rest of the house. put a fan in the kitchen with an aerosol of glade for motivation.

I crop dusted some douches at the gym once using that very method. The gym used to have basically an alley for the leg machines and squat-curl racks. I think they did that to keep them out of the way of the regulars, and there were only about 20 people that ever used them, most did curls in the squat racks.

The space was about 10 feet wide by about 25 feet long. No outlet. No windows. So, people would drag a huge air mover fan over to the beginning of this glorified closet to get some sort of fresh air down to the squat racks.

I just happened to cut a massive fart on the intake side of that fan one day and then casually walked away.

I was tempted to do it near the aerobics room once but it would have been obvious who dunnit being that was an area that you didn't just walk by.