teh intertoobz lockah room

[xOcular Penetratahx]

'Warcraft' Sequel Lets Gamers Play A Character Playing 'Warcraft'

[EasyEJL]

Originally Posted by xjsynx

canadian so its no surprise

[xOcular Penetratahx]

The Book Says:
"A shiny blade against smooth soft skin is terrifying, of course, but for many people also highly erotic."

Reviews Say:
"This was an amazing read, and it really got me thinking about lots of new and fun play ideas."

We Say:
We're assuming that "erotic knifeplay" is like that scene in The Animatrix where the couple slash each other's clothes off with swords. We're thinking this is one of many things that looks like fun in a cartoon, but should probably be avoided in real life.

So on that count, we have mixed feelings about The ToyBag Guide to Erotic Knifeplay. On one hand, we don't like the idea of a book legitimizing the whole knife-sex thing. On the other hand, if you're going to start practicing a sex act where you whip out both your dong and a razor sharp blade at the same time, you better damned well study up on how to do it right.

[bitterplacebo]

Originally Posted by xjsynx

My business didn't go so well after running that ad.

[bitterplacebo]

Originally Posted by xjsynx

'Warcraft' Sequel Lets Gamers Play A Character Playing 'Warcraft'

My avatar has to go to work, but wishes he got paid to peruse the internet.

[EasyEJL]

Originally Posted by xjsynx

The rear entranced has been barricaded since we moved in together...

perhaps offer jewelery and roofies

[xOcular Penetratahx]

Originally Posted by EasyEJL

perhaps offer jewelery and roofies

I gave her a pearl necklace, but apparently she her definition of a pearl necklace is different than mine

[thewilman]

Originally Posted by bitterplacebo

Did you try ejaculation?

That always works for me *wink wink*

[xOcular Penetratahx]

Originally Posted by thewilman

That always works for me *wink wink*

What is up with the winks? You hitting on BP

[xOcular Penetratahx]

The Book Says:
"Now that more people are living to be 70, 80, 90 and 100, research shows quite clearly that sex is as important as ever."

Reviews Say:
"Our sex life has truly changed and is now the best we've ever had - even though we are both in our early seventies!"

We Say:
The above quote scares the shit out of us. If the best sex you've ever had is in your 70s, you may have ruined your life somehow.

Now, understand, being the lovers of freedom and individual rights that we are, we're not suggesting senior citizens shouldn't have sex. We're just suggesting it never be talked about or acknowledged openly in any way whatsoever because it horrifies us.



Now picture them porking.

Horrifies us like watching Satan kill Santa Claus, then burning down Disneyland while drinking the last beer ever. But apparently that feeling isn't held by a small, but determined population of internet porn shoppers and the authors of this book who figured people who had most likely been having sex for seven decades now need a guide on how to do it.